Doctors Say the Darndest Things...
The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.
- On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
- Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
- The patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
- The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- She is numb from the toes down.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
| This is based on a humorous mailing from Mikey's Funnies, an informal service of Youth Specialties. Mikey emails a wholesome funny once a day if you subscribe to his service. Thanks, Mikey ! |  |